All these unhealthy habits were realized in full force while I was married to an addict. I put up with his addiction, his abuse, his abandonment and his lifestyle because I wanted to “help him.” I thought if I took care of everything, he would have time to focus on his recovery and things would change, but they never did. I spent so many days worried and anxious, just wondering how to fix things and make them better. I started the recovery journey to be supportive of him and soon realized that nothing was going to happen until I got myself healthy. I didn’t mean to enable his situation, but that’s what I was doing.
Recovery helped me see things through a healthy perspective and set boundaries. I was finally able to see the truth: I was not responsible for the choices he made, and I was not responsible to fix it all. Recovery allowed me to truly let go of the control I thought I wanted and live a life where I wholeheartedly trust God for the future, no matter what. It wasn’t until I really walked in that truth that I realized all the blessings God has for me.
For me, that meant choosing to walk away from someone who wasn’t willing to change and starting over through single parenting and creating a new normal that I had never imagined—and God has shown up in huge ways! The journey has not been easy, but it has been so worth it. It has made me stronger and healthier person and given me a heart and passion for other people walking the same path I did.
Recovery is not meant to be walked alone, and that is why I share my story.
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